Today is another sunny - sunshine can always make people pleased although it's hot somehow, but compared with the wet, it's far way better. Done with the confirming the air ticket and calling the cab driver today. It went pretty fluently, which made me be appreciate to Buddha again deep in my heart - AMTF~ After going through so many things, I realized that getting through everything smoothy is the best happiness in this world. Normal people have their smoothy, ambition people have their smoothy, and I have my smoothy, although I have no idea if I am an ambitious or a normal individual... There's never good or bad about ambitious or ordinary people, it's just their abilities that make them different, or even being appreciated or cursed. I...want to be appreciated...can I...?
I get my refund check from Gail today, a little bit regret. I should have asked her to forward it to next year when I come back, so that my parents could pay less for the tuition. But, just in case for the overweight luggages fine and the meal payment, It's not just to keep the refund. Becker and Steve keep asking me when I am gonna meet them before I leave. Time always passes fast, and people change with the time passing. I'm not even sure if my feeling for Becker and Steve changed to a what level. But one thing I'm sure - neither positive nor negative, or, either positive or negative. From the first time I came here as a vulnerable little girl to today as a girl who's going to Japan by herself, even without her parents' help, I have no idea how much I grew or developed, or even jumped. But I won't feel sorry for them if I've already left them behind in my subconscious mind. Sometimes I AM that kind of cold-bloody. I need bricks to climb up, and if they are appropriate, I won't hesitate. But I know Steve is not.
Mika already transferred to Suffolk University, and she needs to take Math class again~ Poor Mika. And, please don't say sorry in the phone that you're not sure if you're going back to Japan this winter. I know you're sure; you just don't wanna help me. I got it! No one wants to help me - it's just that simple. And I don't even mind anymore now. I'm used to being along and helpless. It's fine. Just don't be fake next time, and I wish you had a good time in Suffolk, for real.
About the chat with Pawel? I don't even wanna talk about this guy, what can I say about him? Innocent? or dump? Just like people say there's only one line between love and hate, I just wanna say there's only one line between innocent and stupid... God bless you Pawel~
Bless my parents in good health!
AMTF!
PSBY!
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